Suggested ways to develop EQ

 Build self awareness taking time away from distractions for a while each day.  Mindfulness, mindful movement, just watching the world go by without distractions, time away from electronics etc. is the starting point.

Learn how your emotions feel, and learn to allow them.  Learn your emotional triggers - what is going to wind you up?  Forewarned is forearmed. You can't develop stratagies for what you don't know.  And you can't grow from a wobbly, unstable base so the grounding and centring is important.

Accepting an emotion (eg frustration when something isn't going your way) is the first half of the equation, from there I need to ask myself what I'm going to do about it in a calm way - throwing a tantrum isn't a calm way, it's how things go belly up and you "spoil" something good.  But being frustrated is allowed, it's valid and you are allowed to act on it, just in a way that is safe, sensible, acceptable and "grown up" eg taking a breath, telling someone that you need a moment to give your head a wobble, maybe writing down what the frustration is and then looking at it objectively.  Can you change the thing that is frustrating?  If you do, will it negatively or positively affect the rest of the team?  Are you the right person to raise the issue?

Learn how other people feel and show emotions.  Not easy.  But essential for anyone in a team, in whatever capacity.  Much as being an island might be appealing at times, it's not the reality, and neither should it be.

All of this is pointless without examining values or ethics.  I could be the most self aware person out there, very aware of how others feel and act, but if my values are up the shoot, it doesn't make me an emotionally *inteligent* person, just a self aware one.

Think I have other notes on this somewhere, I need to hunt through stuff, possibly Double Goal Coaching, and revise some of that too.